Ace the First Impression May 2008

Sonia Boonchanasukit, BK Magazine

Five female dating experts share their secrets on acing that crucial first date.

Looks Matter
Dress according to the venue, the time of day and your comfort level. Do not douse yourself in cologne or perfume or adorn yourself in anything too revealing or, as us commoners would call it, skanky. “Ladies, a nice dress and stilettos always work like a charm! For men—a nice crisp shirt and crease-free pants and good shiny shoes. Those are the basics,” says Anisa Hassan from It’s Just Lunch. See Lookin’ Good page 13.

Confidence
Ah! The big “C” word. Careful, though, you don’t want to have the four-letter “O” word attached to it which can almost guarantee your placement within the “cocky and self absorbed” category. “Make lots of eye contact and hold their gaze. This shows that you are not intimidated and plus, it’s more attractive to the other person,” says Chanunchida Pathomkulmai from Who is Match.

Drop the Expectations
“Keep an open mind and don’t expect sparks to fly immediately. Set your expectations right so you can be pleasantly surprised,” says Anisa.

Yap Yap
Try to engage in light and casual—but at the same time intelligent and interesting—topics of conversation. “If you’re concerned, be sure to read a newspaper or watch a news program that day so you’re up on world events,” says MeetNLunch’s Nikki Assavathorn. There seems to be one big consensus among our experts—refrain from talking about your exes!

Smile
Look, even if you don’t have the whitest teeth, smiling can never derail a smooth running first date. “Be happy,” says Bangkok
Matching’s Kulchulee Subsinudom, “people can sense and feel the happiness from you, believe me!”

Men: Pull a George Clooney
“Ladies, if the man offers to pay, offer a sincere thank you,” says Anisa. Chivalry: it still exists and —almost always—the woman will be floored.

Time Is Money, Baby!
Being on time can be a big determinant of your character. So don’t just flash the Cartier—use it! As Nikki would say, “There’s no greater sign of disrespect than being late for your first date. Get directions!”

Relax
“Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. It’s all about having a good and positive attitude about entering the dating scene again. If you end up meeting someone then it’s great! But if you don’t, you just have to keep going out—give yourself a chance to meet more people. The biggest secret is to be happy with yourself,” says Kulchulee.