It's Just Lunch :: Press Center

Singles event tries to get Santa Cruz women interested in Silicon Valley bachelors

The Society of Single Professionals and the group It's Just Lunch, combine forces for a singles mixer at Peachwoods on Tuesday.

Hayne Bendick glanced around the bar at Peachwood's Tuesday night, and then speared another bite of her complimentary watermelon.

"It's a little slim pickings, tonight," she said. "I've only seen one person that I'd really like to converse with, but he was already snapped up." Bendick gestured in the man's direction. He stood nearby, hair neatly combed, animatedly talking to another woman.

Fortunately, I'm getting all the watermelon I can eat."

After being referred by a friend, Bendick, 51, a Santa Cruz resident, went to the Inn at Pasatiempo to find who she calls "Mr. Almost Right." After putting a focus on her career -- she's part owner at the Center Street Antiques collective in Soquel, and has started four other businesses -- Bendick has never been married, doesn't have kids, and this was her first time at a singles event, she said.

About 40 other people swirled around her, pairing up, playing a "mixer" game called "Find Somebody Who " -- "Find somebody who yachts in their spare time" is a sample question -- drinking and eating the free hors d'oeuvres provided by organizer Rich Gosse, founder of The Society of Single Professionals.

Gosse, who throws about 150 such parties all over the world each year, billed the meet-up at Peachwood's as "Silicon Valley Meets Silicon Beach." The cost was $10. Gosse invited professional men from over the hill to socialize with Santa Cruz women.

Gosse started the society 32 years ago in San Rafael. He met his wife at one of his own events 12 years ago. Gosse said Santa Cruz women complain about the lack of available men in the area.

"Santa Cruz women love to meet the Silicon Valley bachelors," he said. "If you talk to the women in Santa Cruz, they say the men are all starving artists, gay or college students. And Silicon Valley is the only major metropolitan area in the U.S. to have a surplus of single men."

The Tuesday night crowd was a bit smaller than normal, Gosse said, where a party could fetch up to 200 people. He mentioned a party in Australia where he had to turn away 1,000 people. Still, he was happy with the results.

"Every day you meet people who are secretly attracted to you," he said. "But nobody ever talks to strangers. My job is to help you find a relationship of quality."

~ Santa Cruz Sentinel

A matchmaker can help you find love, if you don't mind the price

In an ideal world, we'd all find our matches naturally -- no help from any online aids, set-ups, whatever. However, in this day and age, it's fair to say that sometimes we may all need a little help (just a little shouldn't hurt now should it)?

That said, it's not unusual to pay for online dating services. Online dating sites like Match.com and eHarmony, for example, which boast tons of happy members, do charge to give you access to their other users. But what if the price tag is a little higher? How much would you be willing to pay to find your perfect match?

Apparently, for some, the price they're willing to pay is pretty steep -- with some services charging a minimums of $50,000, even...

According to a Time Magazine story that appeared yesterday, it looks like despite the economy, people are willing to pay top dollar for help in love, charging up to half a million dollars for professional matchmaking services.

Over the last few years, paying for this kind of thing isn't uncommon, nor are the high price tags. Shows like "The Millionaire Matchmaker" and services like "It's Just Lunch" have marketed their success in helping busy professionals find companions or lifelong mates. It's also gained a bit of exposure too, as matchmakers like Joanna and Steve Ward, whose work has united several now married couples, bring their matchmaking expertise into the mainstream, using it to help single women find love on national television (as hosts of the VH1 series "Tough Love").

The matchmaking phenomenon is interesting, resembling a time when, in some cultures, families enlisted the help of someone who would help their children find the perfect spouse for marriage. And, while it's evolved, matchmaking is another option to consider if you want someone who has the time to help you find the love they're looking for.

Ultimately, matchmaking has increasingly made it to the forefront and may give potential daters another avenue -- as long as they're willing to pay the price, that is. Whether it's here to stay remains to be seen. However, as people look for other ways to find dates, you have to wonder if the matchmaking thing will really catch on -- and maybe bring its price down to give more people a chance to have someone work to find them love.

I respect the process, especially if you have that extra stash to give it a shot. Personally, I plan to hold out for just a bit longer, just in case I can find it the old fashioned way (or at least until the price drops and makes it more cost-effective in this day and age)! Call me hopeful, I guess.

However, that said, in a couple more years, maybe I'll give it a chance -- IF I think I could use a bit of help. Hopefully the price tag will have dropped!

~ Chicago Now